January 9, 2018
New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
I, I am he who comforts you;
why then are you afraid of a mere mortal who must die,
a human being who fades like grass?
What are you afraid of?
I am afraid of confrontation.
I know that confronting a small thing when it occurs is better than facing off about a big thing further down the line.
This last month I forgot this and I ended up in a situation where I was feeling used and abused and alone.
After another episode of being treated badly I yelled at my computer in frustration and then burst into tears.
My poor husband has heard me ranting about the situation for weeks. While I stood there wiping tears away he told me to quit.
He told me I needed to stand up for myself and if it meant that I lost the contract we’d find another way to make ends meet.
And I knew: this man had my back.
I’d forgotten that I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t need to solve this problem on my own.
Later in the day I thought about what had happened and about how I do the same thing with God.
I forget that God has my back.
I think that’s why God included verses like Isaiah 51:12 – 14 in the bible, little reminders that he is bigger than all our problems.
Cues that most of my worries are tiny compared to a God who made me, unfurled the skies, and founded the earth.
When I put it like that I wonder why I would ever think that God didn’t have my back? Why I would stress for even one moment that if I stand up for myself God won’t back me up.
My problems are nothing compared to crafting a human, or flinging stars, or speaking a planet into being but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t care.
As long as I remember God has my back, all my fears seem tiny.
Even confrontation doesn’t seem so scary when I remember that God is standing right behind me saying,
“I’ve got this. No matter what happens, I’ve got your back.”
Ponder: Do you ever feel like no one has your back? How do you feel about the idea that God has your back?
Prayer: Lord, thank you that I don’t need to be afraid because you are with me. Amen.